Hi Maika. Just wanted to lend my support. I love all of the wisdom and advice that others have shared with you. Please don’t beat yourself up. Imagine if it was your best friend going through the same thing and what you would say to him or her. We are always so much harder on ourselves. We need to be our own best friends.
I did want to add one thing. I, too, have a list that I keep on my phone. However, it isn’t about my XH and all the crappy things he did because I don’t want my focus to be on him. Instead, I have a collection of inspirational quotes focused on what I want for my life and in my future partner (if I am blessed enough to find love again). It reminds me of where I am heading and not where I have been. Maybe it is time to refocus your list and make it less about your XW and more about you? Just a thought.
RE: XW introducing new people to your kids. Yeah…not much you can do, I’m afraid. My advice would be to prepare yourself to hear things you don’t want to hear when your kids come home and work on your game face. They will take their cues from you. Be neutral in your expression and interested in what they say but not too interested. Don’t give them the impression you have any feelings about it otherwise your upset will become their upset. It’s hard, I know, but it is just one of the aspects of divorce that svcks. You don’t get to choose who your kids meet when they aren’t with you. It is what it is. If you do want to work out an agreement about giving each other a heads up, you can always approach your XW about it but make it about improving communication between you and not about controlling what she does.
Sending you lots of love and (((Hugs))). You’ll get through this period of time and back on track. Have faith.
