M seems like you are judging your insides by her outsides... apples and oranges ... I get it, I really do, because I've been there and could be there again in a heartbeat.
i know what you mean and intellectually i know, but emotionally it's not sitting right. i know that I have more healing to do.
I kinda feel split open and raw from sharing my sitch. I re-read it and it made me feel like such a weakling - I know that's dumb and macho man BS. I felt like I threw like the biggest pity party and invited all my insecurities and gave them VIP seats to me wallowing in nonsense. I'm not minimizing my feelings, but I didn't think I would be here after all this time. I just got more work to do.
i am not trying to minimize how you feel by saying this, because i also sometimes feel that way after talking to someone or posting something that deeply upsets me too. in my opinion you are absolutely not a weakling, or wallowing in self pity. $h!t happens and it's upsetting, period. Baby you've only just begun. Look at some of us who are still moving forward, still healing, years, and years, and years later. My exh left over 6 years ago. His AP/now wife sent me an email last summer telling me to get over it they've been together for years and years and to eff off. I wasn't communicating with him about our failed relationship. I had emailed him about our son, who was on the precipice of what turned into a life threatening crisis. I have no control over the fact that she is in my son's life. I signed up for creating a family with my exh, not any extraneous people he chooses to bring into our family dynamic. I've chosen to ignore her and focus on my son. I've also chosen to no longer communicate with my exh about anything that happens to our son unless my son specifically asks me to, but he's almost 22 so it's not in my or his face. His dad is 3000 miles away and about to be 6000 miles away soon. It still hurts. Seeing how our failed marriage has affected my son hurts every day. I live with it because I have to make some kind of peace with it or I'll lose my mind. Our divorce was final 12/23/16. I have met two people for coffee. I've yet to go on a date. Some people's journeys take longer than others. Again, if I judge my healing process by anyone else's I'm not doing myself any favors. I guess what I'm trying to say M is give yourself a break and be gentle with yourself because this world is a far from gentle place.
{{{{{{{M}}}}}}}
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
