WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Divorced Anyway (5)

[BL42]

Ginger1/kml,

DO NOT put “my kids are my number one priority” on your dating profile. Ever. It’s a hard swipe left for me.

However, if I had read a profile where a guy said his kids were his number one priority, that would have been a plus not a negative.

I don't have that explicitly written in my profile and don't include pictures of my kids either. I've seen some women who do and don't necessarily view it good or bad, though maybe to Ginger1's point if someone's going out of their way to make a point of it maybe they're over-compensating? Hopefully it's assumed the kids come first; I've no interest in dating any mother who does not make her children #1 in her life. I do list "divorced" and "have children" in my status...figure if people are specifically filtering out on those categories than why waste my time?

Take care of your kids, take care of you, and when you feel like dating is something you want to do and dedicate some time to do it right, go for it . And when you do, remember it’s not making something else not a priority in your life. It’s making room for another one !

Good advice - thanks!

I didn't really date guys with younger kids (because of my age and because I avoided guys who had young children as I really wasn't interested in reliving that phase of child-rearing - I would have been ok with someone with teens).

I imagine me having two young kids will limit the dating pool a bit. That's understandable. While dating before married I certainly preferred meeting someone without kids. Now I'm on the other side of the table (without any choice in the matter I must say). It is what it is. It seems like a single mom may be a better fit and more synched up with my situation than someone without kids. Time will tell though...who knows.

One guy I am dating is a father to a 3 and 5 year old. He has 50% custody, never goes on and on about being an awesome dad, but he low key is. He’s just being a dad. He doesn’t need or want accolades. He is just a great dad because he is and doesn’t need to prove it to anyone. We were hanging out the other night and he was telling me about how he loses patience sometimes and looks forward to his day off after 5 days on because he needs it. He doesn’t pretend like he loves every minute of it. He’s real.

And that’s what I find really really sexy

What parents don't have their patience tested once in a awhile! lol. I definitely prefer my time with the kids than without, and hate when they have to leave, but I'd be lying if there weren't sometimes a sense of relief to have a few days to myself - single parenting can certainly be intense!