Hmmm...interesting, Ginger. I didn't really date guys with younger kids (because of my age and because I avoided guys who had young children as I really wasn't interested in reliving that phase of child-rearing - I would have been ok with someone with teens). However, if I had read a profile where a guy said his kids were his number one priority, that would have been a plus not a negative. I still remember telling something about my ex to my first guy I dated after my divorce, and he was shocked at how my ex behaved as a parent. His kids were in their late 20's/early 30's at that time, and he couldn't fathom my ex's selfishness in regards to our kids. I found that REALLY attractive!
One would think, right? I used to think so. But the men who just had to mention their kids are their priority in their dating profile ( why should it even have to be said) we’re not good potential partners at all.
Most used their kids as a way of avoiding being a good partner. It was more of an announcement of “maybe I’ll fit you in somewhere” the ones who made the grand announcement also feel like only their lives are appointment , they act like they are the only one who have ever been a single parent and men seems to want some extra kudos for a being a decent parent. My ex boyfriend M just kept going on and on about how his son is first and what a great dad he was and obsessed over his kid and criticized the parenting of strangers. I slowly realized he was insecure in his role and really wanted to be his sons favorite over his mom.
The guy who ended up being a patient in my hospital going through severe alcohol withdrawals and liver failure also went on and on and on about his kids are number 1 and what an awesome parent he was. He ended up losing his kids for a while.
One guy I am dating is a father to a 3 and 5 year old. He has 50% custody, never goes on and on about being an awesome dad, but he low key is. He’s just being a dad. He doesn’t need or want accolades. He is just a great dad because he is and doesn’t need to prove it to anyone. We were hanging out the other night and he was telling me about how he loses patience sometimes and looks forward to his day off after 5 days on because he needs it. He doesn’t pretend like he loves every minute of it. He’s real.
