At the end of the day you're still 2 totally different people with totally different world views and FOOs. Marriage is hard work...
OMG yes. One of my issues during my marriage was conflict resolution. None of our issues were ever resolved. I was a confronter, she avoided. We never discussed/resolved any issues.
Now, when either my lady or I get into an argument and our emotions start to get out of control, we take a break and talk it out after we have cooled off. Do you and your H have a calm, safe way to come to agreements on issues like the house cleaning?
My W and I just had conversation about how bad at conflict resolution we were. During 2 years of dating, and 15+ years of our marriage we would both freeze the other out. We never resolved conflict it just faded away, and never all the way away. I was more of a confronter than she was, but once I got push back then I would just internalize it, go cold and distant and stay that way for a period of time. She did the same except she NEVER confronted.
Our dynamic now is very similar to yours. We realize we are starting to get emotional, we calm down and discuss the issue. One of the other things people are so horrible at these days in all relationships and walks of life, is that it okay to disagree! Agreeing to disagree would go a long way in this world. My W and I now know that we can at least understand the other person's viewpoint even if we do not agree with it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
