Well here goes....

[BL42]

Navarro,

Glad you're seeing good signs from him. I agree proceed with caution. Be "OK" with yourself either way. If he doesn't come back you'll be ok if he does all the better.

He’s bought the app that changes the phone numbers and texted me from different numbers pretending to be another man and seeing if I would be interested. He did that for the first 2 years. When he began our “friendship” again a year ago all of the other odd number text messages stopped. I have access to his phone and I found all the messages.

This seems a bit controlling and creepy. He's using an app to text you from random numbers to test whether you'll date other men? Doesn't that strike you as odd?

One thing that sticks out to me that is probably the most is the consistency. He has been consistent for the last year. He is reliable, not drinking, he’s accountable, he is kind, he is thinking clearly, and he has been consistent. I think that’s what I feared the most because it felt like he was getting better and we were becoming “friends”. He’s been pretty great honestly the last 9-12 months. I will say the last 12 weeks he has become a happier person and more of his normal self.

I agree w/the others to make sure the words and actions are consistent over a long period of time. He should want to move back and reconcile badly. Is he showing consistency in wanting to reconcile or just consistent being a good/nice person?

I’m not confused about him wanting to come home, I am confused about letting him come home. I dreamed of this day and it’s what I’ve waited on but now that it’s here, I am scared of it. I’m not worried about him leaving in 2 weeks, I am worried about him leaving in 2 years. I’m detached and I have to choose to work forward, that will take time but I don’t want him to leave again after I get attached again! I don’t want to go through that pain. You all, I’m not sure I can survive that again! I’m starting to wonder if I am going to be able to allow him to return. When I read on here “the old r is dead and gone” I don’t think I realized how true those words really were.

Detachment isn't for now and then you get attached and get hurt all over again. Detachment is being happy with your life and knowing you'll be ok regardless of how he acts. If you allow him to comes back again you continue to DB and GAL and be happy with your life even if he leaves again. In the future, whether you allow him to come back or not and whether he stays or not, detachment is knowing you'll have a great life regardless and won't be devastated either way.