WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont10.)

[ovrrnbw]

Then you would the follow up text several hours later:

"BTW, SON's grades are sh!t and he is giving me total attitude about it. I know we disagree on how we parent about school but I really would like him to care more about his grades. Cs and Ds for him are unacceptable to me."

I responded:

"I agree. He needs to do better than that. It's disappointing. It will be interesting to talk with him to hear what going on with school."

Not sure how I'll get graded on my response but a couple of things:

Last week I saw the two of them interact and he pays he no mind. She would ask him a question and he wouldn't answer. I have thought all along he knows something about the affair, but now hearing that people are talking about another possibility, it seems all but certain. I don't know how to help him through what I perceive as his anger. It doesn't come out around me.

Second, I feel like that text gives insight into her dealings with him and her dealings in general.

And lastly, I'm really worried about my kids. On the service they seem fine but I feel like things are happening underneath. I'm worried about my son and what I perccieve as his disdain for his mother which seems to transfer to others at times (specifically he has a real issue with feeling "disrespected" by teachers and it seems to be women more specifically). I'm worried about my daughters moral compass as her mom talks about sleeping on some guys boat and normalizes that behavior.

And then LH just made me realize that my STBEx would have been having sex with me and her ex back in college. That never went through my mind before but at this age, that seems kind of gross. It also points to the fact that she sees that as acceptable. I don't know, something new I had never thought about before (and not entirely relevant).

Your response seems a bit canned, IMO.

Your son may need to talk about something, yes, but that is no excuse for piss poor effort in school. I don't care what the situation is, the right thing is the right thing. Kids will look for excuses and people are giving too many excuse, generally speaking, and not enough direction.

Teach him how to deal with adversity. The hard path is the correct path, do not avoid it, seek it out and overcome it.