DnJ posted this to me a while ago: ‘One a personal note. Well everything here is meant for you. Ok, on a topic directly about your path. You are experiencing the stage of bargaining. I found bargaining to be such a weird time. It is the last ditch emotional effort to hang on to that “old” normal. Before one moves forwards and let’s go. It’s the precursor to the depression that follows moving towards accepting the loss.’
I believe DnJ is right.
First of all you know that when H left the last time I was going to send him a message in regards to my acknowledgement of him seeing an OW2. I didn’t since I wanted to hold on to what was left between us because I saw improvements, and secondly I wanted to make sure he contacted the psychiatrist, which he did. (I understand now that these are two separate things)
Now this week back in the house since I was on a city trip and he wanted to look after the kids. Well, in all honesty, he is showing the worst behavior again, definitely towards the kids, even accused S17 of taking drugs. (This is only one example, there are many more) He did meet the psychiatrist, is this the trigger for him acting out like this again, I don’t know, but I’m done with it.
I also saw something again, proof of OW2 being with him during the summer when he was travelling. Conclusion, found the strength to confront him with this. I can’t and won’t allow this anymore.
Why is it when things seem to improve, suddenly this changes and the worst behavior comes out again.
I need to let him go, really, I won’t allow it to be dragged into this once more.
I really want to find the strength now to get through this.
