Your children are growing up, they are attempting to spread their wings a bit. You have to give them the room to do so. You cannot control every aspect of their lives, how they feel and what they are thinking. Yes, they are now getting to the stage where they will rant, say things that cut deep, act out, etc., i.e., just like a full blown MLCer. What do you do? You call them on their disrespecting you, you call them on bad behavior...but keep this in your heart...you love them. They know that they can lash out at you because you are the safe parent.
I know you are so afraid that they will want to live with their father. The grass is not always greener on the other side. If your son threatens you with moving in with dear old dad...sit quietly and let him stew on his threat and if he does move out...I can promise you, it won't take long for that little happy fest to turn to resentment. Right now, your son thinks the sun rises and sets in his father...it's going to take him some time to see the true light. You need to drop the rope a bit and allow him to experience life a bit.
Separate your situation from your children's situation. What is going on w/you and your husband has to stay between the two of you. Your children are growing up and are now old enough to sense that things aren't good. They have lessons to learn as they walk this earth and they need to see that dear old dad isn't some goody two shoes.
Trust your faith, lean on your faith and know that whatever will come, you will be strong enough to face it...but do call your children out on their behavior. They need to learn to respect you for who you are.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
