Just want to clear up a couple things, when I say holding up her end I don't mean taking on more with the kids. It's her taking care of her side of the street with her support system and not relying solely on you.
Her carrying her weight on her weeks isn't more face time with the kids. And keep in mind moving forward, how much time she does or doesn't spend with the kids isn't really your business unless it's affecting them enough to carry over into your home. But that also means it's none of her business what you're doing with your time on your weeks. What she's doing know, and I know it hurts, is establishing her own routine, her own child care system, building the boundaries you guys should've had over the last year. I totally get when the pro is "I get my kids more," and when they are as little as yours are I understand how easy it is to think she's either pawning the kids off or taking them. But right this second she isn't and there doesn't seem to be a nefarious motive. She's just doing what should've been done a year ago.
Also, I want to touch on why I never ask what's best for the kids. I worked in child welfare for a decade. What's best for the kids isn't an answerable question. There are so many variables in any given situation even if you were an actuary by trade there's no way to know that unless it's a completely black or white situation i.e. "is it best to let kids play in a busy street kind. Nuanced things like this, this isn't answerable. It's why I frame the question in the way "Will it harm the kids? Yes or no." It's a long road to learn how worry only about your side of the street. It's a longer road when you have an ex that wants you to mind your own business but will do everything in their power to try to muddy up those sides of the street. Building and maintaining clear, consistent and healthy boundaries with and for each other is the only way.
Tell yourself over and over again if you have to she's worrying about her side of the street and I'm going to worry about mine. Two households. Two lives. Please trust and believe what Maika and I are saying about this because we've been there. You should be parenting side by side right now. There will be a time when you can parent in a way that's more co-parenting together than next to each other. Now isn't that time.
