Sorry to hear that H's manipulation is taking over again.
I can't help much, but I do want to briefly tell you a story about a woman I met recently who lost her children for about 4 years, precisely because of the manipulation and influence her H used on their children.
This was a woman who lived abroad with her H and their 2 children. (ages 14 and 12 at the time) This man has always been very manipulative and a narcist. On top of that, she thinks he also got an MLC at one point. (personally I don't think it was MLC)
Her H met an OW and wanted to get rid of his wife immediately. Strange enough he did not want to lose his children, apparently for all the wrong reasons. (that's why I don't think it was MLC, since not regular behavior for MLC'ers)
He manipulated those children in such a way that they no longer wanted to have anything to do with their own mother.
That woman came back to her own country broken, losing her entire family.
However, she has always tried to keep in touch with her children, even if they didn't want to.
When the first child reached adulthood, he literally trew his children away. Apparantely he did not want to pay child and/or spousal support at the time of the break-up. Once they were no longer financially interesting to him, he didn't want to have anything to do with them anymore.
Those children have come back to their mother and since then they have been living with her again. They now understand what a bad person their father is and never want contact with him again.
I just want to tell you Gerda, children are naive, believe in the goodness of mankind, but soon or later, these children become adults and they will experience it, just the same way as you have realized you H isn't a good person. Then they will need your help and you will have to be there for them. But they will have to go through this process themselves unfortunately.
You will not be able to make this clear to them, and save them from this, especially not because they are already teenagers.
Can I ask you something? Do you think your H is still experiencing an MLC or do you think this is simply who he is, definitely because of the fact he has put you through a whole lot of things, and still does, for so many years already.
Good luck dear Gerda…this must be incredibly difficult for you…i'm so sorry...Hugs...
