Unfortunately, as I was driving home I received a text from the W saying she was round and packing up more stuff. I made the cardinal sin of falling apart in front of her, and going against everything that I have learned on these forums.
Magnhild, we all make mistakes. You're doing your best, you recognized it as a mistake, and you're trying to improve. What more would you ask from your students?
Originally Posted by Magnhild
I had conflicting thoughts of a) texting her to hope she feels better and b) not contacting her as isn’t this the consequence of leaving a marriage and not having your partner give support? Although I will probably get slammed on here for admitting this, I do want to be compassionate with everyone, so I sent the text.
Detachment is treating her like anyone else rather than as a partner/friend/lover. We all have different "defaults" as to how we treat other people. If another teacher you interact with occasionally were sick, what would you do? If you'd seek out their cell # and text "I hope you feel better", then your actions are in-line with detachment, and if not they are not in-line with detachment. I'm sympathetic for co-workers who are sick, but would only express that if we were already interacting. E.g., they send me an e-mail "I'm sick so I can't complete project X". "Your health is the priority! I hope you feel better."
Originally Posted by Magnhild
Today I am strong. I feel as if I am turning a corner, and all I want now is for her to file for divorce so that I can really move forward.
Great! Beware of passive-aggressive actions that sometimes follow this feeling such as pushing her to divorce or reconcile. If you want to be D'd, you can D. If you want to stand, you can stand.
Originally Posted by Magnhild
I WILL be OK. It will take time, but roll with the good feelings.
