For me, life is choosing to take a forest view of the trees and say 'hmm, other people have also said they struggle with me in this arena, I should pay attention' and leave the rest behind as an opinion of one and stop allowing H to define the degrees of differences between us. .
I agree with this. I think our spouse / ex-spouse can be a mirror for us, BUT when listening or taking feedback, we shoudl also consider whether or not we are getting similar feedback from others. If it really is isolated, then it might not be something we stew over for too long.
Recently my counselor recommended a book called "What Matters Most" by James Hollis. Its hitting me at a good time as I continue to work to think about the next chapter and what I (underlined and bold I), what I want. Not my kids, colleagues, parents, or ex. I'm only three chapters in but I'm finding that it to be a good read.
Overall I feel like I'm in the middle of a good run. Work is going better - I'm feeling my limits and paying attention to them so that I don't take too much on. Socially I'm doing good, finding healthy outlets. I'm really enjoying going kayaking when I can get out. Workouts are going well. I had the entire inside of my house repainted and and I'm redecorating everything. A couple of rooms are done, and my favorite thing is that I added a cool mid century modern desk that I use every night to journal, read some poetry, and spend time to think.
The divorce is at the 1 yard line. At this time we've made all the decisions we need to make. I would think the paperwork is all set any day and ready to be signed and submitted. I'm sure that day will be a hiccup. And I'm sure the hearing will be a hiccup. But I'm continuing to work to take steps to stay mentally healthy.
