Not a wise one here, but your comments resonated, so let me essay a response.
I think there is loneliness and then there is LONELINESS. The former is as you describe: the need for a touch of the hand; the brush of the cheek; the head on another’s shoulder. The latter is the human condition: to want to be known and loved--fully and unconditionally--by another soul, only to realize that sort of love can only truly be filled by someone (or something) transcendent.
Only a few weeks ago, I left a relationship that filled the former need, because I realized I was seeking to quench the latter. I told the woman that she was special and amazing, and that she deserved someone who could give of himself totally. And, given how I continue to feel about my XW, that someone was not me.
Difficult though that was, it confirmed my desire to continue standing and, for now, to avoid romantic relationships. Whatever journey my XW is on, I do feel that I need to be there if and when she should ever leave the tunnel. I know quite intimately her history and her family of origin’s dynamics. I believe she is trying to deal with LONELINESS through other means--like all of us. It is, as I say, the human, existential condition.
And if she never leaves the tunnel, I trust my future self to deal with that if that time comes.
