WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont10.)

[SteveLW]

Scott, good post. Cannot really disagree with any of this.

Would like to add. My favorite bald, Texan TV psychologist likes to say: "If you improve as a spouse, your spouse will more than likely respond positive to it." In other words, improving as a spouse cannot hurt your MR, and it more than likely will improve it.

However, in the situation where you work harder, try to improve as a spouse, and become the best version of yourself that you can be, and your spouse continues to want to leave, or not work on the MR, or be a lousy spouse themselves, more than being ok calling it quits, why would you still want to be with that person?

I think this is one of the keys to DBing. The LBS is in "hold on as tight as I can mode". DBing teaches you to look at things more logically, less selfishly, and objectively. Without that most human-beings will be against anything that results in change they are not in control of.