Something that helped me to think about, which is over simplified, but worked for my brain was to reflect on past events that were painful and how I felt about them as time passed. A few examples. When I was 5 my own parents divorced and it was rough. In middle school I was bullied and sexually harassed. In HS I was involved in a dramatic/emotionally abusive relationship. He also cheated. Each one of those things was painful and took years to recover from, but I did. And so when things with my H were incredibly difficult and triggering, I would remind myself that years down the road, it would look different as well. And now many years later I assure you it does. When I was at my lowest point in life, I would remind myself that everything will look different in the future, and it helped me get though a hard day or night. That small glimmer of hope worked.

The thing is May, and I know you know this, but you can’t control or rush that process. I think we might be similar in that we are hard working, effective and put a lot of energy into things. And it works! I have accomplished some things in my life — studying at a top university with young children and a full load of sciences courses — and look back at my drive now and think, whoa, I was unstoppable! However, when it comes to our personal relationships with others, we don’t have control. We only can control our own choices, reactions and behaviors. The time still must unfold in it’s slow and sometimes painful way. There is nothing we can “do” other than accept that some days will be harder and feel slower than others. But maybe that is good for people like us? Just letting go a little ….

My handle is ktkara. I think I’m smart enough to filter through private messages and decipher who I know and who is some dirtbag trying to pick me up. Lol. I’ll try and delete the name in a couple days. And if the moderators do not approve and delete this, my apologies!

Blu

Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon. Nelson Mandela