Wolfman moving forward2

[Dawn70]

A bit of advice, for whatever it is worth, in regards to the relationship between your S and your GF. This comes from my own experience and you should absolutely feel free to take it or leave it as you see fit. No pushing or judgment on my part, just putting it out there for you to think about. When I first started dating my XH, his 3 daughters were 12, 14, and 16. (I think your son is a little younger than that, but it really doesn't matter, my advice will be the same, as it isn't necessarily age dependent).

My youngest stepdaughter took to me quickly and easily, but she was a happy, unbothered child and is still pretty much the same as an adult. When I met the middle daughter, she took to me easily as well, mainly because she had issues with her own mom and she craved a female presence in her life that she wasn't getting from her mom. The oldest was going through some very typical teenage girl drama and having some big issues with both of her parents and some other things I won't go into, so I knew that connecting to her would be more challenging. I kind of sat back and let her take the lead in how she came to me. I was always open and friendly with her but didn't push. Think about little kids and how they explore things and how they join groups of their peers. They'll act aloof at first, then when no one is really paying attention, they'll jump right in the middle of whatever is going on with both feet and reckless abandon. So, I sat back and waited for her to come to me.

My advice to you is to not push your S or your GF too hard toward each other or you will likely get the opposite of the desired reaction and they will actually both kind of balk and repel each other. Let them interact naturally. Now, of course, as the adult, the onus is on your girlfriend to respond in a positive manner when your S tries to interact with her, even if she might not be feeling it in that particular moment, but a brief conversation with your S in that moment will go a LONG way to helping him feel like she really cares. I think you have to let them find their own way naturally and not try to force it or always be the mediator. (By the way, I'm NOT saying you are trying to force anything...I'm just saying to resist that temptation.)

You may be right about the baby helping to bridge the gap, for a number of reasons. Whatever it is, it is nice to hear that you all are interacting as a unit. A strong, steady, stable environment is really what kids need most.