Great week overall. School started so seeing the kids before/after school again this year, coached S6's sporting event, took D3 to gymnastics, held a fabulous birthday party for now D3 with family in town, which she LOVED. I love those kids to pieces. Also, got through the first few weeks of my first grad school class but it's supposed to ramp up over the next month so we'll see how things balance out.
However, there was a negative encounter today and I'm all riled up this evening. ExW asked me to talk at transition, and said my mom had said some things to her at D6's sporting event about not coming around and how ExW left the kids...in front of D3. My mom's been a saint in taking the high road in this entire situation, so I'll have to have to hear her side of it, but it gets me all worked up and my blood boiling to even have to deal with this. I bit my tongue w/ExW, and just listened and did my best to validate. I said something to the effect of 1) I can understand why that might be upsetting, and 2) I'll have a discussion with my mom and give it some thought. ExW said "Thanks for listening". I'll be honest...I wanted to say some hurtful things about AP about her parenting...etc. I managed to keep it inside and not let it show, and am now all amped up in private. Sometimes I don't know why I bite my tongue though...I can't imagine ever taking her back and seems like it would be a good release at times. She deserves it.
Taking the high road with her isn't in case she ever wants to R. You saying that will send LH into convulsions! LOL No, you listen and validate to diffuse the situation. Of course you wanted to go off on her. She cheated, left you for OM, now subjects your kids to OM. She is one of your least favorite people in the world. Plus, you don't want to be in the middle of this stuff. Your mom and her conversation is between the two of them. You are no longer her H and therefore have no responsibility to defend her to your mom. You did great listening and validating. If you do mention this to your mom I would do is in a completely non-confrontational manner. Info gathering. More than likely your EX was trumping it up to be worse than it was, and it was her own guilt and disgust with herself she was projecting from your mom.
But no, do not keep the peace for the chance at future R. Keep the peace for your kids' sake. To make coparenting easier. She likely will get comments and complaints from others in the future. It is no longer your job to help her cope with the barbs from others.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
