Still learning, but leaning into the future...

[bttrfly]

{{{{{{{Sage}}}}}}}
When my son went with his father it was like walking around with my heart outside of my body until he returned home. What got me through was starting to volunteer at a place that means a great deal to me. I would leave before my son was picked up and spend that first day doing something else for someone else. It got me out of myself and saved my sanity. Sure, I returned home to an empty apartment, but I was usually exhausted, because there was a physical labor component to the work, exhilarated, especially if I got some one on one time with the animals, and most importantly, my mind and heart had a little bit of peace. The next day or two weren't easy, but usually by Wednesday (Sunday was the day he would go with his dad) I was starting to explore what I wanted to do with my alone time.

I would schedule things for the weeks I didn't have my son. It actually wasn't bad once I got used to it.

All that said, yes. I felt robbed. But, despite being left, despite my view on how good (or lacking) he was as a dad, my son still needed to spend time with his father. That's what got me through. If any of that resonates with you, then I'm glad I took the time to re-live it.

xoxoxo