BL, I am so sorry about the bath time emotions. I know how awful it feels to hear your kiddos say things like that.
It has taken me awhile, but one thing I have learned to do is not hijack my children's emotions and conflate them with my own. I am not talking about to them (you validated D beautifully), but within us.
For a long time, I would witness my children's suffering and it would highlight and fuel my own sadness, or rage or frustration with my H. Even if I hid those emotions when I was with my child, I would allow their emotions to kick off a flood of similar emotions I held inside, that I would release when I was alone.
Only very recently I have been able to see their emotions as separate from mine. That they can have those emotions and I can support them through those emotions and not muddy my own emotions with theirs.
I am a better support to them as a result. It's subtle shift, but a powerful one to work towards.
