I wanted to talk to her today like an adult about potentially just taking the kids 3 days a week. (its what I do now anyhow) but I would pick them up friday after school and return them sunday night. (yeah not gonna happen now, she has gone ballistic). I asked her if she would be willing to go to coparenting classes and sit down with the kids or the family and even the L and work this out,
Hi Steve, you made a request and she said "No". "No" is a clear answer. I'm not sure what there is to work out? You could ask an impartial judge--99% odds they also say "No" because most don't think it's reasonable for her to do the work of schooldays while you enjoy the weekends. The standard plan for dads who want to see their kids but not parent is "every other weekend". If you want her to agree to special terms just for you, you're going to have to sweeten the pot in some way.
Originally Posted by Steve_
He has over heard her and I arguing
Stop arguing. Arguing takes two.
Originally Posted by Steve_
I am admit that I need to stop engaging with her
Yep. Arguing doesn't accomplish a whole lot. You can't manipulate or control her.
Originally Posted by Steve_
My kids got involved in the back and forth and I know that is not good.
Yep. No means no. If she's unreasonable then engage a judge.
Originally Posted by Steve_
I asked her if she would be willing to go to coparenting classes and sit down with the kids or the family and even the L and work this out, things are getting out of hand.
Sounds like wasted effort? You can avoid all these arguments by hanging up. This isn't a co-parenting negotiation, it's custody negotiation. Engage your lawyer for a range of ideas on what custody plans a court would very favorably upon, then propose them. As you drop from 50/50 parenting time, expect your support payments to increase, and expect her to make most/all parenting decisions.
