Sage4, I hope nobody on the forums ever gives an LBS/WAS the impression they were even 1% responsible for their partner cheating on or abusing them. Misbehaving partners own their misbehavior.
I tend to see a pattern where a freshly LBS puts 90% of the blame for being left on themselves, but once they realize they can't "fix" the relationship, they put 90% of the blame on their partner. For most, growth lies in-between--accepting the role we played and accepting the role our partner played both in building the relationship and allowing it to fall apart. We can be better if we strive to be.
My XGF sometimes treated me harshly. Why did I accept that? When I had my "dream" family, why did I *still* neither address the clutter in my home nor let her touch it?
