I really did not know anything about love languages until this happened. Looking at how he was, I think acts of service is how he shows love. In fact, when he found out D was coming home a couple of weeks ago, he went and took her car to get washed and filled up (sound familiar?) so she’d have a clean car to come home to.
Therapy for me was today and I asked my therapist why if he’s living on his own here and really as a roommate I would barely see, why is the car something? She said he likes continuing the facade of the status quo. I think it’s silly, but if it makes him pretend he hasn’t imploded our marriage, whatever.
With gathering my ducks, let’s see, I’d like to be self sufficient, the job search will help with that. I would like to continue my drive to be a person I personally enjoy. Live honest and be a hard worker for myself. I want to set an example for others on how to do this.
I have always been someone’s someone. A wife, a mom, an employee. I want to be me. If someone wants to come along, (I’m hoping H) great. If not I owe myself this chance.
In a couple of weeks, a new museum opens in LA, I got tickets for a preview and I am super excited to go. I also bought tickets for a concert at Halloween. I have missed every year it happens, and last year it was skipped and this time, I heard about it in time to get good seats. H would love it. But, I know, based on my IC, he can’t enjoy himself. He’s really not happy and how could he even have a touch of fun with me? The thought of this makes me sad, but more for the situation, not for me. I know I am dropping the rope more each day.
Anyway, everyday I am excited to see what’s in store.
