Could you clarify what you mean by your statement "Degree of an edge"?
I can...LH when trying to drive a point home often comes off jaded as h3ll. Most of the time he's pushing extra hard because the LBS is not listening to the gentler kinder voices of reason. But once he cuts you, you can't stop hearing some of that bitterness when you read his words.
As to you Scott, it's not your place to judge every WAS/WS or MLCer after reading some threads. Yes they do often leave a hot mess in their wake. Some times tremendous amounts of damage. But broken people do broken things. Hurt people hurt people. And more often than not the worst version of that WAS/WS was always there, and the LBS either ignored the red flags or forget the behavior entirely until everything fell apart. Not to say we deserved any of it. But things are not as cut and dry as you're framing them. A common theme around here is that LBS try to turn WAS/WS into monsters because it helps them hold on to the anger, and it absolves them of any of their wrongs. It's really easy to be a victim and avoid introspection. It's really easy to be bitter and jaded. What's not easy is putting in the work to move on and move up. It's not easy taking a very serious personal inventory and fixing what's broken in ourselves when such crappy stuff happened to us.
It's a hard thing to accept that not all WAS/WS are irredeemable garbage people. And not all LBS are perfect angels and victims. While we all have similarities in our situations it's because people in crisis all behave in a similar pattern. For the most part though that's where the similarities end. Every LBS on here has a varying degree of culpability in the demise of the MR. Every MR has different underlying issues. Some of the WAS/WS have addiction issues, some have undiagnosed or untreated mental health issues, some have childhood trauma, some really should've just gotten some IC, some are straight up narcissists. But all of that's irrelevant once you've reached this point in the journey. Hanging on to what's been done to you will do you or any LBS no good. You're focus needs to be on you. And being the best version of yourself so that you're not risking this happening again. As the great DnJ likes to say "Be better not bitter."
