Steve_ Moving on

[Traveler]

All of this is said with love and care, Steve_. None of us want your update in 6 months to be that you've become a "dad" on the weekends only and pay "too much" support.

I guess I was living in a false reality thinking all she wanted was a D. Now it’s her mission to ensure I am prevented from moving on and having a life.

Yes, when you mind-read, you're living in a false reality. I doubt she sees that as her mission in life, but her motives, desires, feelings, etc. are neither your concern nor mine.

Now she threatens to go to court and “take alimony retirement and full custody” if I move.

Sensible, right? "Is it good for the kids if their dad moves 45min away and now they have to drive 1.5hrs to school?" We are all saying no. It's hard to imagine a judge saying yes.

We agreed to a set amount of support in a marriage settlement agreement

Steve_, child support is never "finally" agreed upon. It may be adjusted any time circumstances change such as your custody%, income, residence, etc. The point is to ensure the kids are provided for. Alimony can be finally agreed upon--if her notarized signature agreed to something it is set so don't worry. If the terms were not set in that way then of course you are still negotiating and it's not settled.

that we filed when she was hot on leaving for OM, now that the case has been filed and Steve isn’t gonna be Plan B she wants me to suffer.

Let go of the mind reading. (:

This person is such a sick and twisted manipulator, it sometimes defeats me and I feel like I am the one who pays for her choices.

It's okay to have feelings about her.

Sometimes it makes it hard to have hope things will improve for me when she acts this way.

Things will improve as you detach from her.

I feel like I am the one who pays for her choices.

In this scenario, you would be paying for your choice to move away from your kids' home. Yes, big changes (like relocations) typically need written approval from your co-parents or there can be consequences. You're free of her as a wife, not as a co-parent. That responsibility goes both ways. It sounds like you began negotiations about moving but never settled it in writing.

But still I refuse to give in or give up for her satisfaction, I did that for 11 years.

Let go of what decisions mean for your XW. Focus on what they mean for your kids.