This month would have been our 20th wedding anniversary.
It was an uncontested divorce. I bought her share of the house out and have the kids during the school week.
I don't think I could ever take her back to be honest if somewhere down the road she wanted to come back. Too much damage has been done and some of my relationships with her friends and family have been destroyed because of her actions.
So, it's over - but my 180s are not.
Drh, congrats, I know it's not what you really wanted but it's a huge weight off your shoulders and it's onward and upward from here! Your situation mirrors mine, my XW left just before our 20th anniversary. The divorce was uncontested. Our house had been paid for but I had to mortgage it to buy her out. We shared custody 50-50 (every other week in our case) and no child support or alimony. I'm now 10 years down the road and it all worked out quite well, so I think you've paved the way for peaceful co-parenting and coexistence. I did not feel sorrow after the divorce was final, just relief. I thought I might fall back into depression but instead it was turning the page to a new chapter in my life, one that has been quite different than before but filled with fun and excitement. I think you have a lot to look forward to
Another Stander,
Yesterday was two years since BD. Strangely enough I didn't feel depression after I got divorced - just relief that two years of hell was over.
I did want to save the marriage and did the 180s but it was too late - one can hope but I knew deep down it was over.
Her behavior was so awful and the disrespect so bad that I vowed to myself that I would never take her back even if she felt remorse for her actions sometime in the future and wanted to make amends.
She destroyed relationships with my sister in law and a friend of the family, both of whom I got on with for years and never had a bad word to say about them until the day they betrayed me and helped conspire with her to cover up her adultery.
I told her that where there used to be a door she could come back through and start over there is just a wall where I took the door out and bricked up the space it left behind.
Too much damage has been done. She has not only burned her bridges with me but removed the supporting pillars.
