It's perfectly fine to not know what you want right now.
Your timing, not his. You have a lot of work to do on yourself that requires some serious consideration. If he wants to make things right - part of that is allowing you to heal on your own time, in your own way.
Re: serial cheater - maybe. You know of one affair in the past, and one when he left this time. I don't know what your line is. I think only you can answer that. I don't think EA's are only ever EA's - they are still a betrayal of trust. That's up to you. And you mentioned you believed that there might be but you aren't sure. Given that you hired a PI - it sounds like you know, but you can't prove it.
One of the biggest blessings I have from all of this is the ability to trust myself now. I hope you can trust yourself, too. If you know in your soul that it's right/wrong, I hope you are able to believe you. During times of great stress and anxiety, that can be so difficult.
Take one day at a time, don't rush, all will be well.
I hope you have some time to feel joy and enjoy the day!
ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19
8/17-BD IHS: 1/17-2/19 D FILED (ME): 7/19 D FINAL: 10/20 M23 T25 OW CONFIRMED: 01/21
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
