WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Divorced Anyway (4)

[BL42]

What Manila said…100%. I know what it feels like as well BL. It is the worst feeling in the world to be “replaced” like that. But…time helps and taking the focus off of them and onto yourself. I did what Maika suggested and asked myself those questions on the regular. The answer was always consistently “no” to the first two questions. Why would I want to be with a cheater who never looks in the mirror and takes no responsibility for himself? It’s a no brainer. You will realize the same thing once you give your heart enough time to catch up with your head. It will eventually. (((HUGS)))

Thanks DejaVu6! I appreciate the words. When I think of Maika's questions objectively the answers are a definitive "NO". It's like I'm in some sort of odd paradox. At this point I don't want to be with her anyway, but also never wanted to be in the position in which I find myself (I.e., the lack of nuclear family for my kids). So while the sitch has past the point of no return with my wife and I, I'm also wanting the family I can never have. If that makes sense?

I have gotten a lot more comfortable with the concept and practice of being a single father and have been crushing it taking the kids places and doing activities with them, so maybe I'll see this "new normal" as even better than a nuclear family in the future.

One topics I've been meaning to raise here on the board is considering we have such young children I still see ExW a good bit with the transitions and activities...etc., and it's an odd feeling at times. She looks the same; she's her pretty / happy self she always was (at least on the outside) and we're cordial, which makes it a bit surreal, like...why did all of this have to happen? And maybe on the inside she's all torn up and hating me for whatever reason, but there's a sense of normalness that does come through on our limited interactions that makes the extremeness of the reality of the divorce and her living with another man seem so bizarre. I don't know if that makes sense or resonates with anyone?