Rope dropping and grey rocks

[97Hope]

Thanks, Bttrfly! Yes, that is scheduled - for sure. Was not an issue due to the nature of the meetup but I am still not taking any chances and at some point I will want to date and other things, so I need to make sure I'm clear for takeoff as I will be asking the same from a suitor.

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Had a great time with the grandsons G8, G5. I picked them up from school yesterday and kept them with me today. I noticed G8 asking a LOT of questions about his gpa and I. When we got married, how we met, why we were now unmarried...etc. He said "Gpa said you don't like him anymore and that's why you won't come to his house". Hmmm. Wanted to tell him that I love his gpa, but don't agree with his choices, but didn't know if that was age appropriate.

The night went great - pizza, cotton candy movies - so much FUN! We swam all day and ordered delivery at the pool. Both boys thought that was the coolest thing ever.

When my DIL came to pick them up, she wanted to talk and asked if I was ok and if she shared something with me, would I be ok? I said sure, she looked upset. She said that XH invited them over for Labor Day and the OW was there and he didn't tell them she would be there. She went on to say that OW was drunk and sloppy and XH forced an "introduction". Literally drug the OW over to DIL (who was trying to stay on the other side of the room, in a different room etc.) and said "I'd like you to meet xxx". DIL said OW stuck her hand out like to shake it. DIL did not shake her hand but said "hi" and walked off.

DIL said it made her cry because she has told XH that she doesn't want anything to do with her and she felt bad for me. DIL said that she felt ambushed and that it's been happening frequently now. XH even told S29 that he needed to get used to having OW around. I told her not to worry about me that it's all in my rearview, and thankfully she could see that, but thinking about it later, I did realize something. So I called her and said:



We have had a lot of conversations about how I put up so much with for so long and I was thinking about your weekend. You had previously stated - very clearly - that you didn’t want to be around her - but then you did. You stated clearly that you would not accept her but you are. You’ve been pushed slowly into having her at your church, your holidays and your ranch time with XH. I respect anything you choose to do, but in just a few weeks, you have let him push your boundaries....that’s how I let it happen to me. it was slow and I didn’t want to make a big deal or cause a scene...it was just a text I was uncomfortable with, or a female that was giving me weird vibes etc. it was a budget we were both sticking to, and then little by little I didn’t know how I got to where he was off running around and I had no money to buy even basic needs.

This isn’t judgement AT ALL. It’s an observation of how he manipulates and gets people to put up with abhorrent things and always seems to get his way...which is sometimes bad for others.

It hurt your feelings. I care about that. I don’t care who you are around as long as you have peace and you are ok.

If you didn’t care about his/her past, and you genuinely liked her I’d be jealous and all, (and butthurt) lol but I would want you to be around people who make YOU feel good, special and uplift you. Right now, it seems like it’s a lot of pain and heartache and sadness and grief all to appease him. Think about what YOU want, what brings YOU joy. When possible, live in peace. When it's not possible, dust the dirt from your sandals.

It goes without saying, but I will remind you of this, I will love and support you NO MATTER WHAT.


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She said that she was just telling my S28 the same thing and getting upset about how XH keeps ambushing them with OW. I understand that emotion. We let little things go until we have an enormous problem. A boiled frog we are.

As I sit her I realize that the only drama in my life is that which my kids have to deal with. And it's not my drama, I listen but I no longer get emotional about it. I can hear these things and feel sad for them, and certainly empathize, but I'm no longer triggered in a sense that it affects me personally.

The bonus? I still have 2 days off this weekend!! I am LOVING day shift! Also getting estimates for new flooring for new house. Life is good.

Hope all of you are doing well!