At first, I would cry when I went to bed b/c I needed to be held and loved....but I'm not doing that so much now. I know that some of you wonder why I can't just go into my H and tell him how I feel and ask him to hold me and to make love to me.....but right now, it would be like trying to do that with my brother...and I cannot force myself to do it. We've not had sex in so many years and it feels more like we are just relatives sharing the same house. I am afraid that I may never have that desire to return. It was exciting to realize I could feel normal sexual desire toward another man....but I knew it was wrong and I had to end it. Until then, I even wondered if I was just not normal. Then, I questioned my love for my H. But, I remember how I felt when I married him and I know that I did love him once. But, I think that my emotional needs were denied so many years and resentments pushed down for so long that maybe it killed a lot of those feelings.
I'm sorry, b/c I know that makes some LBS upset to hear statements like that from WAS. I have heard some angry replies to some statements from LBS to WAS.....so that is why I appreciate you all being so nice to me.
I realized when I replied to a couple of young men regarding their stitch.....how upset or resentful I still was and that I needed to be more careful in how I tried to give "advice". Compassion is something we all need here....regardless of which side of the fence we have come.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
