Need advice on stubborn W part 2

[AKuei]

Many thanks for the reality check CW. I'm very sure I've been doing things wrong and expecting the wrong things but I can't seem to rationalize it.

You've made it so much clearer. There's nothing to confront. I wanted to gift her and was expecting a thanks. That's a mistake. I shouldn't harp on the fact that she doesn't do what I expect her to do. I can only control myself.

She mentioned the D word sometime in the middle of last year, alluded to D in feb this year. But I see no effort in her wanting to move things along. Heck, she's even trying to plan future stuff with me like getting furnitures for the kids, renovating the house, moving to a bigger apartment, yada yada. All these in my mind were like cake eating. I am to blame myself for indulging her too by going along with the flow. I should have stopped it and not get myself involved in her fantasy planning.

I have to do better. I must sort out myself and get rid of all sorts of expectations and then will decide whether I should continue this way or move on. I want to have control of my life. When i re-read my post about asking her to tell me about her plans; I really want to punch myself. Once again I'm letting her control my destiny.

Again. Thanks for the 2x4s. Really needed it.