Need advice on stubborn W part 2

[AKuei]

Thanks for responding DV6. The guilt comes from the fact that she gave me a birthday present earlier this year I would like to reciprocate it

I've read the NGS book. I am having NGS and I have a high conflict avoidance issue. I'm having anxiety attack for the past hours and I really want to tell her that I'm hurt by this action. And I also want to tell her to let me know what her plans are so we can move on.

This was also at the advice of my therapist a couple of weeks but I've been putting it off until today. Living without any clarity really [censored] big time. On one end I want to end things so I can be free of this suffering, on the other end I want the family intact because of the kids. But that will be at the expense of my mental health.

The conflict avoidance in me is making me standing still. No action will I dare to take. I can almost see that I will end up like her father who is also in this situation for decades with her mother. Runs in the family I guess.

So I guess, should let this go and go back to improving my detachment and get rid of the covert contracts issues? Or should I go guns blazing and let it (emotions, resentments, etc) rip?