I also read in a posting that your H doesn't feel he needs to make much change...that he has done all he should/could...and he may REALLY feel this way based upon your actions in the marriage over the past many years...what you have to remember is you can't MAKE someone change...BUT...with YOUR changes WILL come changes in H...it is like dominoes...once one starts to fall the others follow...and the momentum picks up...
I know this to be fact because even though I was the LBS...my H felt like yours...that I was the one that needed to change...that despite his leaving me and having an affair that he had put his all in to our marriage...he felt totally justified in his not loving me anymore...this was very hard for me because even though I didn't leave and for the most part "felt" happy...I realized after his leaving that I wasn't as happy as I thought and that my health was suffering from the stress as much as he stated his was...BUT...I also acknowledged that I did need to make changes regardless of what H did...and I was almost positive that he would continue in his self-righteous feelings he had...so I continued in my "own journey"...not judging his...not worrying about whether he would or wouldn't change for me...it became about me being HAPPY WITH MYSELF!...and guess what?!?!...in time ( a long time) H did see where he needed to make changes...it got easier for us to talk things over with each other...and I can honestly say now that H has come a long way...BUT I led that way...my changes created change in all those around me...
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
