A sure fire way to kill your marriage, is to avoid doing things because your husband "might" react a certain way. Because you can always think up some reaction from him that would be negative.. so you can provide yourself with an excuse not to do ANYTHING, if you allow yourself to keep thinking that way.
if you've read michelle's book(s), you might know the importance of acting "as if".. in the sense of "act as if if.. your husband will react the way you would LIKE him to react".
if you need reassurance about that.... then combine it with actually talking to your husband about it. he's not a dog.. you can actually hold a conversation with him ;\)
Maybe let him know, "I'd like to spend a little time with you, just sitting next to you. I still need your help doing [whatever you need him to keep doing for your relationship]. But I thought I might try this, for OUR relationship. I'm not ready for anything more than just sitting next to each other... I'd like you to understand that if you push for more, that will make me feel uncomfortable, and I will get up. Are you ok with that?"
Originally Posted by Dom R
Most men usually LIKE to follow explicit directions. So, you can directly ask him, "I'd like to share something I heard about. i need someone to talk to. i need you to be [understanding/just listen/whatever YOU need]. Would you do that for me?"
If he loves you, and wants to work on your marriage.. he WANTS to do things for you. Telling him what he can do for you, and giving him a chance to do it, will make him very happy.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
