OW’s behaviour is following the well worn path of these folks. Her behaviour sounds just like what you’d expect from someone who had a part in blowing up so many lives and families. She is most likely in a crisis herself, as emotionally healthy people do not do what she and H have done.
Her sexual innuendos are rather standard for these crisis individuals. My XW flaunted her affair, told me and son about her first sexual time with OM - yes told us, in my house, in front of son.
Those consumed by emotional turmoil are dragged back in time and relive events from that period. They are basically their younger adolescence rebellious self, just worse. OW is flaunting, trying to shock, and trying to get approval, all in a mixed up way and while running from whatever trauma(s) drove her to this in the first place.
Her and H are two train wrecks. Ones you need not watch.
Of course at times certain events come front and center and you will be required to deal with things. Otherwise, focus on you, and leave the crazy to the crazy folks.
Regarding S20, let it lay for now. You focus and strengthen your relationship with him. When he does want to talk, be open and honest.
It sounds like you overheard son’s answer to handyman’s question. If you were right there. And son said stuff directly with you present. That’s more of an opening for discussion. Let it lay.
Don’t be too worried about son’s mental health regarding these innuendos. All kids get weirded out when “old” parents talk about their sex lives. Even loving devoted parents. Lol.
Originally Posted by Elbereth
Otherwise, I'm still struggling. I've been kind of numb and feeling a bit lost. I'm just so tired and just ready to have the house sold already so that I can get closer to moving on with my life. I've not had enough time for self care or the counseling I want to do. And I know I need to work on things to heal. But I'm just so tired. Between the house stuff and extra work right now, I'm just exhausted. Still no word on the job front, so I do feel dragged along there too. Everything feels so overwhelming at the moment, in my life and in the world. I keep telling myself it will get better.
(((Hugs)))
There is a bit of a desert to walk through. A limbo of sorts. It takes time.
Focus on you. Do the inner work. Find and craft your beliefs and convictions. Carve out some “me” time. Go for a walk. Watch a show. Read a book. Something to shift your focus and give your mind something else to ponder for a bit. And by the way, I remember just how hard that is.
You will get through the desert of grief, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
You are doing fine.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
