I know you're exhausted and stretched to the limit mentally and physically. But is there any time at you can take for a reset. Just a break. Something that isn't divorce related for a few hours or a day or overnight if you can swing it. I feel like you're drowning in this and having a hard time grounding yourself. This is all very hard, and stressful, but it seems to be kind of all consuming for you right now. Are you doing any GAL? Self care? Are you carving even a small amount of time out to do things just for you?
Next, I'm going to say this as kindly as I can because I know a lot of this is coming from a place of exhaustion, stress, and frustration. You gotta start minding your own business. Honey, there is always going to be stbxh gossip. There is always going to be another crazy chapter in this story until he can get his crazy in check. Ok so OW is having her own MLC. We see that here a lot with WAW/WWs. Prissy, sweet, diminutive wives become rock stars and groupies rolled into one over night. I imagine it's not that far of a venture for a spiritual, god fearing woman to go down the same road. The fact is though, who cares?
Ok it made S20 uncomfortable. You said he's vocal. Sounds like he spoke his mind. He got an apology. So it's done and over. What's there to concern yourself with? Yes he is 20 and 20 isn't as much of a man as some people would like to think, he is a kid, but he's not an actual child. He knows what sex is. He knows his dad is on some sh!t right now. He knows what he is and isn't willing to put up with, clearly. You need to start leaving this stuff alone. There may come a time when S20 wants to unload all of this and more on you because you seem like the only person who's going to understand. There may not. Don't involve yourself in things that have nothing to do with you. That's step parent 101. That's also not my circus, not my monkeys 101.
You my dear are wasting precious bandwidth and energy worrying a whole h3ll of a lot about your stbxh yet here you are drowning in your own stress levels and things to do. All of that, every single little bit of that needs to be refocused on you. You would have 20-30 min of self care time to squeeze in here or there if you were pushing your exhaustion to new heights focusing what little mental energy you have worrying about OW and stbxh. Yes, I do know you genuinely are worried about those boys. I know you are genuinely concerned about how all of this is affecting them. But is that really what all this is about, because based on your recent posts it's not. You're trying to control the uncontrollable. Control what you can, namely, what can you do to bring those stress levels down a little?
El, you got this in the bag. You're so close to the finish line with the heavy lifting portion of this. You can do this, you just really need to focus on you, your needs, and your mental health.
