Spent most of the weekend on house sale preparations. STBXH has not been here, but did have our son move some of his stuff to storage for him. However, I had to pay the handyman to help me to move the rest of his stuff out of the home and into the garage to deal with later.
Our older son wanted to do some work for pay so I had him help the handyman to do some yard cleanup. While they were chatting, he asked my son what he thought of his 'new step-mom' referring to the other woman that is living with his dad. It appears our son was annoyed by her. It appears that she was making sexual innuendos about his dad and our son wasn't very comfortable with that. And this is a woman is supposed to be a pastor and spiritual advisor. Appears she even apologized for her behavior before he left. I'm not really sure if she sensed he was uncomfortable with her behavior or he actually said something to her about it. He is usually pretty vocal, so I'm guessing he said something or a snide response. But just WOW. How inappropriate. I mean, hell, she played her part in destroying two families (hers and ours) and she is joking about her relations with his dad. Just wow. Not sure if my STBXH knew about this or not. I've not had a talk with our son about her or this event yet. I feel weird asking or bringing it up. But now I may need to see if he is okay mentally after that. He is over 20 now, but he is still a kid. I knew she was a bit whack, but I didn't expect to hear something like this. Should I ask or should it be up to him at this age to decide on the relationships he wants to have and only talk about it if he brings it up to me directly?
Otherwise, I'm still struggling. I've been kind of numb and feeling a bit lost. I'm just so tired and just ready to have the house sold already so that I can get closer to moving on with my life. I've not had enough time for self care or the counseling I want to do. And I know I need to work on things to heal. But I'm just so tired. Between the house stuff and extra work right now, I'm just exhausted. Still no word on the job front, so I do feel dragged along there too. Everything feels so overwhelming at the moment, in my life and in the world. I keep telling myself it will get better.
One day at a time. One foot in front of the other.
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
