Goin' Solo!

[BL42]

Maika,

I wasn't around here when you first started posting, but saw your update and read through your latest thread. Sorry if I'm going back two years now, but...

ExW is already dating someone and they're going ahead full-steam with the blended situation. It's only been like 3 months but they both are moving ahead like their R is on a bullet train. lol. It's amusing to watch and a part of me is wary because if things don't work out, it will impact the kids. They see her bf and his kids regularly and it's a full on blended family. I am not surprised - exW has never been the patient type and the backstory on this guy makes me wonder if both of them are just trying to find someone and then stick with it come hell or high water.

This sounds very similar to my ExW. Moved OM2 in with her and the kids within a month of moving out with me. They've seemingly been a "happy family" since.

I hope I am wrong and that this sticks and they can make it work. I know it's a strange thing to say as the LBS but I ain't taking her back so for her and kids sake, I hope it works out.

I'm definitely not there yet! LOL

I am not out dating yet as I want the D papers to be done with - maybe I am a bit traditionalist at heart which goes right against what I just wrote about relationship models. Maybe I want to get the marriage 'over' by the books and then go see what's out there in candy land.

Same here. I purposefully waited until the D was completely finalized. Was a moral thing for me as well as the ability to tell my kids (someday if they ask) that I didn't do anything outside the marriage.

I am only an outsider looking in, but from your description it sure seems like your XW and this guy are building a house on a very weak foundation. Like follows like, and they are both probably very needy or emotionally needed people just filling the gap. Her as a WW and him as a LBS. I guess you get to just set back and wait for the fireworks, but at the same time you are going to need to be the rock for your kids.

Just found out that exW is looking for a house, potentially with the new squeeze. Things have moved at a rapid lightning pace, since it's like about half a year since they've been dating. They blended families in like a couple of months and now they're looking to buy a house together.

Kinda feels like a kick in the nut$.

My ego is feeling bruised and battered. I am also feeling that I am not able to provide everything for my kids - a house with a pool and a dog. Feeling a bit emasculated in this whole thing.

I know intellectually that this is all just my insecurities and me comparing things when I should be doing other things. Just feels like exW's replacement process of me is coming to a full circle. She's getting back to where she broke things off with me - the house with the pool minus the dog, which we would've eventually gotten.

Just wanted to put my thoughts out as I am feeling a bit down. I know I'll get past it, but it kinda $uck$ right now.

I just got an email two weeks ago ExW is buying a new house ("it'll be more room for me and the kids")...across the street from OM2's sister! I have the same feelings you did with the "drag and drop" / "full circle" life replacement of me and my family with OM2 & his.

Sooooo.. been away from here for a long time and what a ridiculous time it has been with the pandemic. i see some of the ol' timers still here and not sure if folks will remember me, but I thought I'd pop in for an update.

Glad you came back! I think it's great when folks provide updates. I know many (myself included) learn a great deal from the experience.

The pandemic has been hard mentally, physically, and emotionally - I am sure everyone here has been strongly impacted. It's been a difficult time and just been trying to keep everything above water here, with myself and the kids. the last time I wrote, I was getting in a good space and everything was finally clicking and the pandemic has basically undone most of it. I feel like I am finally climbing out now out of just trying to cope and manage. Was about to dip my feet into the dating scene and then it all went south, so put all of those plans on hold.

Sorry about the pandemic set back. It's been such a crazy year and a half for everyone. Glad to hear you're climbing out of it.

In terms of the D and the ex - got my D papers done finally in Oct 2020 and that was a huge relief.

Must be good to have that settled, and help you continue to move forward.

x's relationship with the dumba$$ imploded in Dec 2020 and she moved out and got a new place. A lot of drama as they had bought the house together and in Nov 2020 he proposed to her and she said yes. But then, some really horrific details came to light which impacted my kids, particularly my youngest D, and everything came to an end. I was a mess and so enraged at her and the whole situation, but I made sure to just be there for the kids and provide them with stability and safety. This is where exW's long string of terrible decisions came to an end and hopefully she's learned something from this. I can't even stand her anymore and keep my communications to a minimum and stay civil for the kids.

Interesting you went from meeting him early on to calling him "the dumba$$". Sounds like a lot transpired. You and others on here commented initially your Ex and him were building a house/life on a weak foundation, and based on your latest update that seems to have played out. I'm currently in the situation you were a year or two ago...my now ExW moved OM2 with the kids and dreamed of a new life with him almost immediately and is buying a new house across the street from his sister's place. So I'm extra curious to see what insights you have into the perception of their happy little family that broke down or . Also, how are your kids doing through all this? Sounds like sometime bad happen with your daughter? I'm sorry to hear they had to go through a lot.

If you have time and are willing, I'd appreciate you reading through my sitch and weighing in, in light of your similar experience. I wonder if me and my kids are a year or two behind you and your kids.