I to was so totally shocked...I brought up the kids, how I had dedicated my whole life to H, I hit as many guilt buttons as I could...it was later...much much later....that H disclosed that anytime a guilt button was hit it drove him farther away...for me it was desperation to get him to "feel"...because he was so cut off and so distant...in my mind (pre-DB'ing)I felt if I could just get him to feel something he would "snap out of it"...
On the subject of being happy...H realized while he was gone...and upon his return...that "I" was not the whole reason he was unhappy...and I learned that I couldn't rely on H to make me happy...while a couple is "one" they still need a life...they need their own individuality...we both lost that...but now he has things he does for enjoyment and I have mine...and then we have OURS...so look for your happiness and remember it doesn't come from someone else...it comes from YOU...
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
