Passive aggressive. You are not a fan of validation are you?
Originally Posted by wayfarer
You took heartfelt honesty she was offering you about her truth as subtext personally insulting you.
Originally Posted by Scott
She said I probably wouldn't like what she had to say. She said to me that she doesn't want to work on the marriage, that she doesn't want to go to marriage counseling, that she has considered pushing off filing 3-6 months (paperwork should be done next week), she said she hates destroying the family, that she misses the kids terribly, she has said that her and I don't work, that she can't get over the past (I'm not sure what that is in reference to), and that she thinks the divorce is the only path but "you can never really be sure about a decision like this". Then she said she didn't want to hurt my feelings.
Originally Posted by Scott
As for validation I was trying.. But when she implied I was fragile and that I was dying to have her back, I needed her to know that’s not how this is.
Did she say that, or did you interpret that from "I don't want to hurt your feelings"?
Originally Posted by Scott
You can say I wasn’t listenning tonher and didn’t validate. Maybe I should have said “it sounds like you’re really concerned about how this impacts me and you don’t want to hurt my feelings.”
I guess, if I were trying to actively listen and validate the above, my try might be "I get you miss the kids, and it bothers you that this hurts the kids and I. You feel divorce is the only way forward."
