When my sister's 1st marriage was ending, which was a long time coming, she had second thoughts. Her 1st H couldn't hold a job, she became the sole bread winner. Even though her H was unemployed he insisted on putting their young daughter in daycare. She met her now H during this period, left her 1st H, and filed for D.
A few months in she started to have 2nd thoughts. She hastily arranged a meeting with her STBXH and met him. By the end of that brief meeting, she was further convinced that she was doing the right thing by leaving him.
I tell this story because there are lots of times the WAS has second thoughts. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. They start to romanticize the MR that is ending. They remember the good times and the bad times fade. They start thinking about how much better it would be for the kids to have an intact home with their real parents.
Then they get around the LBS again and all the reasons that they left come crashing back to them. It is like the last "am I doing the right thing?" moment, and solidifies in their mind that they are.
The impact on the LBS is devastation. They see it as a chance to R and fix things. And when it turns out to be a false start, they are devastated and resort back to square one as if BD just happened again.
I saw that with my sister. We've seen it with other LBSs here. The old adage we quote, may be cliche but is so true, "When they want to R you WILL know. When they don't, you will be confused."
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
