I read through your whole post and the advice you have been given. I felt great sympathy for you while reading your opening post. I can understand why you feel the way you do from the description you gave. I also admire you for reaching out for help. I wish my Wife would have done the same before she walked out on me. She had her reasons as well, some valid, some not. I am from the other side of the fence, my wife left me for OM.
It's has been a while. My anger, anxiety, sadness, sense of failure, guilt, and lack of self-worth have dissipated and I am able to look at my situation and others objectively now. There really are no bad people in all of this. None of us want to hurt each other. I'm at a better place in my life now and visit this board for continued heeling, support, comradery, and to try and help others where possible. I deeply loved my wife a one time and just about walked through fire to save our marriage. I can tell you, it was pure hell to go through. I was never offered the opportunity to reconcile with me wife despite my best efforts. I no longer have a desire to save my marriage and wish my stbx all the best. I have grown and discovered some things about myself through this experience. I've walked through hell and didn't let the devil catch me. I remain positive about my future and harbor no bad feelings.
The only advice I can offer from my perspective is to please be positive of your decision if you do leave your husband, There is a great likelihood that he won't be there for you if things don't work out with OM. Are you prepared to live and be happy on your own? Whatever you decide, I wish you good luck.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
