Charting My Course (Part 2)

[MrBrside]

A person isn't their parents. A person isn't their past. And I'm sorry if your ex-spouses were but did you ever take the time to consider that maybe they just didn't put in the work to overcome that? Or that they never had the emotional maturity or introspection to recognize the unhealthy or full on toxic behavior of their parents? Are you guys psychologists? Or psychic? Do you really have the ability to predict possible behaviors based on a person's history? This big blanket generalization that a person is likely not a suitable mate because they could possible have some issues given their history is histrionic.

My personal experience on this, is that if you had a screwed up past, then a lot of women carry this around with them.

My WW came from a messed up family and turned into the exact thing she despised and said she would never become.

I've probably had 30 dates in the past 2.5 years, and family history and upbringing is a big one for me.

Upbringing and what parents defined as normality has a big impact on what the person you are dating defies as normality. Values and what people see as the norm is defined from a young age..

And my personal experience is that the ones with a poor past carry that around with them or never really understand what a loving healthy enviroment looks like - as they have not experienced it.

You are on the money when you say they didnt put the work in to overcome these issues - but here lies the problem - To these people, this was the normality... Most will never see that there is an issue, as its all they know. Ive met ladies who have moved a man in after 4 weeks to play happy families - for it to crash down 3 weeks later. The poor childrens heads must be spinning - But thats what their parents did and they see nothing wrong with it - to them, its the "norm"...