To answer your question Michka, I feel that there are several general categories of Red Flags. The first being anything that would fall into a category of behavior that I suspect most everyone would agree to be either toxic or seriously worrying - such as alcohol or drug abuse, violent temper/anger management issues, major inability to manage finances, extremely poor decision making, lack of responsibility, not trusthworthy, very poor choice of friends, poor health habits, etc etc.
There is a separate category of Red Flags that are very specific to me, relating to my personal values, lifestyle, interests, desires, etc. If a woman exhibits behaviors or beliefs or desires that are not a good match for me, those would be Red Flags to me. Understanding that they would not necessarily be Red Flags to someone else. It's about matching up, and the behavior at issue is not toxic, it's just not a good match for what i want.
I think there is another category of Red Flags that I might refer to as Passive Red Flags or Background Red Flags, which refers to someone's life history and what they have been subjected to. Childhood abuse, lots of divorce throughout the family, toxic family or serious family issues, severe issues in prior MR or R, etc - these are things that would be Red Flags for me even though they are in the background and may not have yet appeared to have manifested behaviorally, at least not to me and not yet. The concern of course is that such serious background issues will eventually manifest in certain behavior that could be a real problem for a R.
I guess that's my general definition of the Red Flag categories as I currently see them.
