Well its been a week and half or so since I found out the extent of his lies and the fact he has been actively involved in an affair for close to a year. I am sure there is more to everything but I don't want to know anymore then I do.
Sorry. It [censored], but is often the case.
Originally Posted by Michka
I wanted to really channel my energy and emotion into myself and my boys. The first thing I did was ban H from coming at night, the boys need to get used to me only putting them to sleep so we have been working on that and I am happy to say we have made real progress in a short time.
Have you met with a L yet? Document all of this. If your husband stays away longer and you becoming the defacto primary care giver it may help you with custody and child support, should it come to that.
Originally Posted by Michka
I had a dream last night that I was being held by someone, I could never see their face in the dream but it was someone who loved me that was all i know. It sucked waking up because I felt so lonely. Waking up alone is not something I signed up for either, but i took a deep breathe and forced myself to shake it off.
When you're in the midst of a very difficult time, depressed, and trying to get through the minutes/hours/days, finally getting to sleep can be a reprieve to having your mind be consumed by your sitch. Unfortunately waking up brings us back to reality. I know that feeling well - waking up and that half second until you reality comes crashing back. Fortunately, this too will pass. You'll get through this and you'll wake up happy again.
Originally Posted by Michka
Its my birthday today, I treated myself to some new clothes, and I am looking forward to a new week.
Happy belated! I think it's great you treated yourself to some new clothes. It'll make you more feel more attractive and boost your confidence. Definitely right in line with the DB'ing playbook.
Originally Posted by Michka
Question for the people...
He keeps asking me to meet with him when I am ready so he is able to tell me the "truth".
I finally offered to do it over the phone or via text, i really don't want to be physically around him more then I have to. However he insisted it was a conversation that needed to take place "face to face".
I just left it, have not replied, just don't know what his game is with this.
What would you all do?
Originally Posted by OnlyBent
Hey Michka, as I see it, you’ve told him the way in which you are prepared to talk with him, stick your guns in that, nothing more to say. I would just do what you’re doing and not respond. You’ve stated your preference, that’s all that needs to be said.
I don't have a "right" answer. I agree with OnlyBent on sticking to your guns, if that's how you truly feel. He can probably type up a long email explaining everything easier than an emotional chat in which you or he forgets things or starts to argue. Just be wary of face apologies and fake intentions. As they say on here, actions not words...and actions over a prolonged period of time.
BL42 Thank you for the support and kind words.
I have been in contact with my L since shortly after BD. They are currently aware of the situation. These conversations are all via TM as I have refused to speak to him face to face unless I had to.
I know in theory this phase will pass but in practise it [censored]. I just keep breathing. It's the kids that get to me, it really is.
I agree too with OB but I thought I would ask the question regardless. The main reason I don't want to speak to him about this is I don't believe he will be truthful. He evidently hasn't been and I have no reason to believe he will be nor am I interested in alleviating his guilt which I suspect may be part of it.
