WW: "I'm not going to let you make me feel guilty"

[BL42]

Drh2001,

How are you feeling about the Divorce? For me, even though it was a year and a half since BD and a year since separation and I had been feeling stronger it was emotional. Glad the process was over, but still a sad day. 20 years is a long time. Unfortunate our Exs wouldn't work on the marriages instead of running off to find "happiness" and a quick fix.

Glad you got the house and have the kids most of the time. I'm still concerned for you (or maybe more your kids) about the arrangement between school weeks / weekends with your ExW moving across state lines out of state / a decent distance away (30-40mins?). What happens when they have a game or friend's birthday on the weekend? Will their mother drive them back into town for those types of events? What about your down time / fun time with the kids? Make sure to keep an eye on those things. The situation does seems to be to "your advantage" over your Exs at least. Unfortunately the kids are negatively impacted by their mother's decisions. It's good you're bringing stability to the their lives. Keep being the rock and the best dad you can be.

You mentioned on IronWill's thread your Ex only has a high school diploma yet works full-time and makes "decent" money. Do you make a good bit more? If so, it seems like no child support is a BIG win for you financially. I can related to my Ex blowing through her money! She's racked up tens of thousands of dollars in surgery, new A/C, new windows, credit card, new minivan, and now a new house. I'm funding some of it through child support payments but wonder where's she's getting the rest. Maybe her mom / step dad are funding her life now like they always have done for her brother or maybe she's digging a hole that will bite her in the future. It's amazing I'm able to save as much as before even with essentially paying the equivalent of her mortgage and car payments. It's not always "cheaper to keep her" lol

Anyway, hope you're getting through the D finalization alright. Hang in there...your life is going to be great!