Yes She has never apologized for anything that she put me and the kids through. There has been absolutely no remorse of any kind. No regrets. Nothing. Zilch.
Yep. Same here. Best I got so far was a stoic unemotional "I shouldn't have done that" in regards to the affair. What remorse...
Originally Posted by Drh2001
OM is divorced with three kids. He knew my WW was still living at home with her husband and kids but dated her anyway.
Classy. Great foundation for a relationship - I'm sure they're destined to be soulmates.
Originally Posted by Drh2001
I gave consent. WW and OM already bought the house (though I don't know if she is on the title). There's not much I can do except delay the inevitable at great expense. Plus we have an uncontested divorce working its way through the system so I don't want to do anything to aggravate that.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
Ok. The evil side of me would have made her sweat. "Let me think about it and discuss with my lawyer." I think the alternative would have been the children live with you?
Originally Posted by Drh2001
That has crossed my mind.
She said if I chose to make it difficult it would affect the kids because they wouldn't be allowed to go with her if I filed a motion with my attorney. This would affect my youngest as she is close to her mother. And it could affect the divorce process. I'm between a rock and a hard place really.
I count myself fortunate to have 50/50 - it's even a bit more than that given I have them during the school week.
Once they go back to school full time, in person, this September, and make friends, join clubs, get jobs etc, they are naturally going to become more independent - which means less parent time and in her case, living in Penn State, means she'll see them less and less. What can she offer them other than her company? Everything they have is where I live, their friends, school, job, their real home.
Having said that I overheard my youngest telling her on the phone "but it's so far away" referring to the new house that OM bought and WW is trying to convince her it's just across the bridge.
I'd have been tempted to let her sweat it out as well. Though, though would be from a revenge perspective, which probably isn't the best reason.
However, from the kids perspective...is it really in their best interest to have to live 30 minutes away and out of state every weekend? I get their school is virtual now, but it likely won't be next year. I'm not saying you should fight for 100% custody - they should be able to see their mom - but would it make sense to not just give in to 50/50 and fight for a majority of time? I'm no a lawyer, but if I were you I'd certainly discuss that possibly with your lawyer. I would think her moving out of state (let alone out of school district) would greatly bias the courts in your favor in terms of custody. Your kids are older and have established schools, friends, activities...etc. which will be interfered with by living in another state part-time. If she's willing to move away and out-of-state (let alone the district) for her own selfish reasons without regard to her kids interests, that should be a strong factor in the custody decision, right?
Besides the kids' best interest this arrangement would likely factor into child support, no? In my state 50/50 means the more monied spouse pays child support regardless, whereas anything more I wouldn't be paying. It could be a big financial consideration for you.
Finally, have you thought out the long-term impacts of your schedule (you having them during the weeks and your STBX having them every weekend)? Not having the kids any weekend will make it difficult to do fun outings and vacations, wouldn't it? Seems like all the school work and logistics are on you, but none of the free time.
BL42,
Thanks for the advice.
School is in person next month so I'll have them during the school week which is slighlly more than 50%.
Because we did mediation there is no formal child support order as we agreed to share the child expenses and it's been working out well that way.
I get what you're saying about free time and you're absolutely right. drh needs free time too. I shall have to think about this.
