And then the big one is that I shared with him that my mind just keeps going around in circles asking What I did wrong. His point on that one was that I didn't do anything wrong. This wasn't about me.
I know that is true but it is so hard for me to accept. I just constantly wonder, what could I have done differently, but at the end of the day, This wasn't about me and I need to accept that.
I'll continue to work at that - it will take time.
Scott, my guess is that you are at least a little like me, a bit of a control freak. You like to be in control of the things around you and that affect you. I struggled with the "what could I do different" thing to. But the answer to that wasn't the answer to the impending end of my marriage. I believe there are things we can do, and things we shouldn't do, after BD, but none of that guarantees an outcome either way. The hardest thing for the LBS to come to grips with is that they have no control over what the WAS decides. Either the WAS will decide to stay or they will decide to go. That is why the advice is to remove the focus from them and put it on yourself.
I understand the struggle but your IC (sounds like you have a good one!) is right, it wasn't about you. It was about her. And nothing you said or did was going to make her change her mind.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
