Well, my STBXH has moved into a temporary place and his AP is with him. And our older son is staying with him (and her) now. As a step-parent, STBXH did not disclose his affair and our divorce together as we originally agreed. So I have no real idea of what he said to the boys. When I took my time to talk to them about it, all I could do was stress my side of the story (that I love them and plan to go nowhere and that I didn't want this or know about the AP until just before they were told).

I believe he also had our younger son stay with 'them' when he was staying in a local AirBnB and I suspect that she was there as well. We are not even divorced and he's with his other woman, and I really don't know what affect it is having on the boys. They love me, but I have never felt they confide in me like they do their bio parents. So, I'm worried a bit what impact his behavior will have on them and how they view relationships. Especially because they also are aware of their mother's infidelity and that it was why their father divorced her.

On another note, nothing has happened on the divorce process. He served me months ago...and yet we have not received any potential settlement proposal. My lawyer wanted STBXH to provide the first offer, but if it's going to take forever, then that isn't so good. I mean, we live in a 50/50 state, so his living and supporting this other woman and household is still affecting my portion of the estate. Should I push to move things along? Is it bad to give your proposal first? Especially knowing that my lawyer wants to do discovery as H has already taken and hidden assets?

The other thing that really bugs me is that STBXH is not coming back to down to finalize moving the rest of the stuff (mostly his) to our storage unit before the house goes on the market. Instead, he's sending our oldest to do it with hired help. I feel like he's just abandoned everything and left the burden on me and our son. He also pulled in our youngest son to do a lot during his final summer before college. Really so thoughtless.

El

Last edited by Elbereth; 08/26/21 09:08 PM.
Me 52, H 56
T10 M7, 2nd MR for both
2 Step Sons (19 and 21)
BD: Fall 2020
D finalized: July 2022
XH Married AP soon after D day.