Picking Up the Pieces After WAW Goes Again #4

[smilie]

Thank you for all of your comments.

My lawyer has already indicated early on that in her opinion I have a good case, although I am a trifle concerned that my stbxw is saying she has no money at the end of each month, that she felt isolated in the relationship and how she text me to end the relationship just in case I tried to kill myself, my medical condition isn't real and I'm a lazy git who didn't take an interest in anything.

As far as the divorce goes, she has indicated that she will not contest it and therefore that process is now straight forward, the expense is coming from the maintenance claim.

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I heard from my lawyer today with regard to the maintenance hearing. It's scheduled for 7th September. I need to attend court, but the good news is it's over video link. The bad news is that my lawyer has recommended that I have a barrister (@ 2,100gbp).

I wasn't aware that this would be the case and thought that the judge would just look at the case and decide and I certainly didn't expect to have to pay a barrister to represent me. I haven't responded at the moment as I am trying to weigh-up options - I have none. I either have a barrister, or not. My lawyer has said it's very important to have a good barrister.

All I can see though is money coming out of my pension fund and into the hands of the lawyer. I suppose in the end if it doesn't do that, then it will fall into the hands of my stbxw. Costs were supposed to be able to be claimed from her, but seeing as she is saying that she hasn't got any money left at the end of each month - even though she moved into somebody else's already established house, compared to paying out for our needs over the past few years and having a fair bit of surplus, seems strange and a total fabrication. Apparently, she had no other alternative than to rent a car for 1,200gbp a month! seriously? She could have easily borrowed some money from her father (as she always has in the past) and purchased a second-hand car, then paid that off in a few months at that rate. She has also spent all the money that she had taken and I was fully aware of this and the account being closed ... apparently. All she keeps saying is that I did not take an interest in financial matters - again a total fabrication. I am being made out to be a lazy person who did not care about anything. So, what a lovely person she is showing herself to be.

I also have to complete financial forms for the Divorce which I was going to do today, but getting that email about a barrister started me panicking really bad again - which is all I seem to do these days.

I am very embarrassed to say that I am an emotional wreck. I have gone from a confident guy to a gibbering mess. Because of all the stress my neurological thing is making it so that I cannot think properly to organise anything and is the worst it has been since it started in 2014. The good news is that I have reached out to the relevant people (even though I feel disgusted with myself having to do this) who can help with finding housing and things, as I am really having a tough time trying to work it all out. I absolutely hate not being able to think and how it is exacerbated by this level of stress, which I can't seem to control despite doing meditation, mindfulness stuff, etc. I can't even seem to sit down for half hour to watch a programme.

I have been engaging in a few meetup groups which have been very beneficial, but I still can't concentrate on GAL too much as I seem to be on the phone, looking for houses to rent, or dealing with legal stuff. I'm in a house that I can't afford to rent with no money for food, bills, etc. without needing to use my pension fund. It is truly a worrying situation and one that I didn't expect to be in. I have managed to sell a few things that has given me some funds for groceries and fuel for the next two or three weeks.

The weekend job is to complete the divorce financial form - somehow as I haven't got access to all the information I need as it has been removed or discarded. Another one of her strategies perhaps? I also need to come to terms with paying for a barrister, I suppose it's just something I need to do.....